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How important is sex in a marriage?

Posted in : General Articles on by : Simmi Iyer

  • Another reason why sex is important in a marriage is that it has been shown that intimate activity causes the release of powerful endorphins that flow through reward pathways in the brain, inducing euphoria and the feelings of love.
  • Sex for a happy married life is important, if not necessary. If there are problems in your relationship, they may manifest in your sex life. Some couples’ marital issues start in the bedroom, even though they may have little to do with their married sex life. Importance of intimacy in marriage cannot be overemphasized.
  • there are all kinds of marriages, some with minimal or no sexual intimacy. This is not to say that marriage is not a marriage without sex. But the absence of sex, especially in the years of youth can cause frustration in one or both partners and feeling of emptiness.

Different Perspectives

People in west view sex differently from easterners. Similarly, men and women in urban India look at sex much differently than how a conservative Indian talks about it.

This post takes the mindset of an urban Indian working woman but in the comments section, you can add your views. And if you do not want to speak publicly, please choose ‘anonymous’ profile and no one would come to know about your identity. Not even me.

Men, Women and the Sex

Like I said before, this is one thing that clearly carries different meanings among men and women.

To men, sex is not just about pleasure, it is also about power. Sex inflates their ego like anything. Men are not good at expressing themselves verbally so making love is a way of their expression. They need it to be shown that their wife is attracted towards them. They need to be proud of their virility. So, to men it is just not about love. It is also about prowess.

To women, sex is an emotional act. They need to be caressed, kissed and loved. It is mainly a way to deepen their love for partner, while in contrast, to men it can be even a plain way to shoo the stress away!

Since in a marriage, both a man and a woman are involved, we can say that sex is needed to strengthen the emotional bond and also to drive the rifts and stress away.

Sex or Love?

Men say sex leads to love and women say love leads to sex.

But whatever leads whichever, one thing is sure – a marriage with love without sex can survive but a marriage with sex without love can not survive.

If you do not have enough sex in your marriage but both the partners love each other and are intimate with each other, the marriage lasts longer. But if you have enough sex but little intimacy or very little love and respect, your marriage may not withstand the test of time.

Sex leads to intimacy

Undoubtedly, sex leads to intimacy and intimacy is vital for any marriage. Sex is called ‘love making’ for no reason!

Making love after a fight actually dissolves the issues and sets upset moods right. You are talking love and think about your first meeting with your spouse and you both feel strongly for each other

But there is more to life than sex.

It is established that sex in indeed a very important part of one’s marriage. But yes, there is much more to life and a relationship than just sex. Marriage is about closeness, commitment and caring. Sex is important but not the most important or the only important thing.

But if both the partners value sex and need it more than anything else then yes, it becomes very important in the marriage.

Thus, importance of sex depends on the individual requirements of both the partners in the marriage. For some, sex forms the basis of the relationship while for some it is simply like any other factor. There are couples who are happily married even when being in a sex-less marriage. Especially the couples who are in their mid fifties and those who are busy following their hearts such as busy with their ambitious projects or embarking on a spiritual journey.

In final words, sex is the vital component in a functioning relationship, but it doesn’t have to be incredibly frequent. A couple just need to know they have those moments of intimacy which only they share, and which binds them together.

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